There is something gone

I have to dream a lot, make a plan and do it.

Like what I did. 

People said: "Kamu tuh jangan kayak gitu lah es, jangan obsesi banget pengen kuliah di luar negeri. Perempuan itu jadi lebih baik ngurus keluarga di rumah. Biarin suami yang kerja keras."

Yups, luckily I didn't get angry or annoyed with what he said. I just kept silent and thinking, ya, that could be definitely true. But hey! Aku ga terobsesi banget buat kuliah di luar negeri. 

I wasn't too obsessed in studying abroad. Yes, I prayed to Allah and searched some programs which provide study abroad scholarships (it was only when I had spare time). 

But then after I graduated from my last University, I thought earning money was more appealing for me. I stopped searching scholarships; at least I have tried in making approach to get it. I realized that I need money, more than education. If I have money, I can take care my own life, give some money for my family, and may be one of the best that I can afford is continue my education in pursuing my master degree (in the University which located near with my company).

So, I want to go abroad (it was my dream since I was in high school), but I wasn't so obsessed (please don't said that I'm an obsessive person. You don't know me. Don't judge me. Just please, DoN'T.

Alhamdulillah, Allah say Yes, and my dream comes true. Suddenly, I got the scholarship and plus bonus. Eventhough it is not in America, such what I wished in the first time I made this blog (2008). (My blog's display hasn't changed until I wrote this post).

(the second picture is my comment post on 2009, do you remember this? :*. 

Alhamdulillah Allah gave you more, 4 years scholarship granted)

It's OK I didn't get scholarship in pursuing my master degree in America with my husband, because now I got scholarship in Taiwan with my 8 Indonesian friends and plus we are future lecturers.

Nothing is impossible. Actually, I was so confused, whether I stayed working in my company (which now I always sad and miss that company, I love the knowledge that I get when I work there.. so muuchh, oh noo too much knowledge that I can get in that biggest company in Indonesia, OMG I miss those so much; feels like there is something that has gone. I miss experience and knowledge and suppliers and users and bosses and friends and seniors and telephones and emails and pending items and pressures and talking English everyday and passion and new people and strange people), or do struggle in getting Dikti's scholarship. 

What I wanna say here is I have to dream more. I want to achieve 1,000. If then I fail getting 1,000, it would be OK because at least I got 800.

It's good for me in having passion. Recently, my passion is on business. To start a business, I have to know ...

Jadi, selain kuliah, ngerjain tugas yang numpuk dan bejibun, ikut kegiatan Bamus dan PPI Taiwan, isi waktu luang dengan kegiatan positive seperti ini; baca novel (I prefer read newspaper actually :/ because I believe it will be useful), belajar bisnisnya, keuangannya kaya gimana, and observe pasar.

May be after that I won't feel alone or feels like there is something that has gone anymore.

PASSION, PASSION, PASSION. :)

What's on my mind?

These four days, I read a paper about management of POSCO company. It is Harvard Case Paper, with title: The POSCO Way of Field-Based Innovation. Well, after I read this paper, it quite messed up my sleeping time.

When I close my eyes, I remember about this company that I have worked for. I learned so much things there. I saw no competition there, we gave support each other. The pressure, yeah the pressure and athmosphere, I have to say that I miss that pressure.
               Finally, I present the paper https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMptfwgtPAo 

But hey, before I resigned from that company, I prayed to Allah to give me the best, and I hoped that the best is getting scholarship, to fulfill my passion; study abroad.

Before I resigned, one by one of my boy bestfriends had resigned. It was quite make me feel alone. Do you know the feeling when your friends move out beyond you and feel happy?

I was feeling happy too for them, but there was something that trigger me out to move too.

That was not my sole reason to catch my dream (study abroad). The other reason is because the opportunity has came to me.

When I wanted to resign, the awesome things has given to me from my team leader. He was the best leader for me, I know he wouldn’t like it but actually in my heart he is like a father. What I saw from him, he was sooo nice.

Oh Gosh. I miss him so much L. I miss that company. I miss the staffs, all the staffs. Working in that company was like working in another country, in suburb island. I WAS SOOOO EXCITEEDDD WHEN I WAS WORKING THERE!! PASSION. PASION. PASSION.

Here, I am. Studying in Taiwan. Thanks to Allah because I have been here for 1 semester and I still have time here for 3 semester.

Getting scholarship and studying in another country. What I would like to say is ALHAMDULILLAH. I can save my money,  I can enhance my knowledge, I can buy things which when I was in Indonesia I have to think twice before buying that things, I have chance in adding MSc in my name, and I will be a lecturer (which always make me breathtaking and afraid because a lecturer have a lot lot lot of responsibilities; to Allah, Indonesian’s future, students’ parents....)..

There are a lot of things happen here to me.. I feel I am in the comfort zone. Eventhough I study in another country, but I feel that my English ability is decreasing. And something that I don't realize is: my communication ability has decreased, and I am being a silent person. Actually I didn't realize that until my friend told me. I just realize that my mood is not good here. Eventhough I have a lot of Indonesian friends here, which we study in the same class, and we went everywhere everytime together, but I felt a lot of things has disappeared, and I don't have much to make conversation. Eventhough I have been travelling to some countries and some cities in these 2 months, but I feel something has gone, yes I felt happy, but it was not maximum. 

2 weeks ago I met my other friends, I feel so excited. Even I don't know why I was so opened to the new people, and we talked so much. Really excited. In that way, I realize that what I need is having another friends. I realize that in Indonesia, everyweek I always have new clients, new suppliers, met users, new friends, talk in the public area with new people. Here, in another country, in suburb city, just a little people who can speak English. I miss those moment, which make my heart beat hardly, laugh together, Sharing our knowledges, sharing experiences and story, feel so excited and curious when I talk with them.