Astagfirullahaladzim,,
I feel so bad today,,
In the morning, i came to my campuss to welcome my junior, new student in my campuss. WELLCOME ABROAD!! HAHAHA .
Not Only that, I came to my campuss to have some registration at my campuss. And ,,,, to see how about my IPK (Indeks Prestasi Kumulatif), what's it in english language??! heu .
I wanna cry . i want to cry . i am supposed to cry. why, my Grade Point Average is down ..
At first semester, i got 3.4
At Second Semester , i got 3.8
At Third Semester , i got 3.6
At Fourth Semester, i got 3.5
In the fact, it's not what i am supposed to get. i thought that i will get approximitly 3.8 at fourth semester.
DAMN . !!
When i was still a junior, my campuss was introducing some of the most outstanding student. They come from different major. Honestly, i got so enthusiasme . i told to my self : I HAVE TO BE LIKE THEM . I HAVE TO BE A CLEVER GIRL . I WANT TO BE LIKE THEM, I WANT SOMEONE CALL ME TO STAGE AND GIVE ME A SCHOLARSHIP, AND EVERYBODY IN THAT BUILDING GIVE APPLAUSE TO ME, AND THEY (THE JUNIOR) WILL SAY TO THEIR SELF (I WANT TO BE LIKE FIESTY) .
I have been getting scholarship.It's the second. But, the scholarship that i get now, isn't the scholarship from the intern campuss, it's from another.
I think, i won't get that scholarship in my whole life . Because, my classmate has got that scholarship . it's only one who can get that scholarship . i am getting so frustated right now. My fault is my Grade Point Average isn't up simultaneously. It's up and down . Eventhough my GPA is higher than my classmate, but her GPA is adding simultaneously.
I am annoyed. No! i'm not annoyed. When i was have some test, in the first semester, I CHEATED. I opened a book, looked at a paper (that i had prepared at the night before), and asked my friends. After that, I realized that it was wrong, and It will not last long. Once i cheated, i tend to do it and do it again. it was so hard to memorize the lessons. Because, in my mind, if i can cheating, so why i have to memorize the lessons. I had to make the end. I couldn't do that anymore. In the second semester, i began to stop cheating. i wasn't open book or a paper, desk, handphone, or anything, but i still asked my friend when i got some difficulties. In the third semester, I'M FREE . I DIDN'T CHEATING. I didn't ask my friend. But, i still answered their question when they asked me during the exam. So do i in fourth semester, and hope i will always keep it all of my life. Eventhough i know that almost all of my classmates still do cheating but i don't care. That's only one, one of my best friend, Septy, she didn't cheating, may be just ask her friends when she got some difficult. But, she taught me that open a book/desk/paper/handphone/your leg during the exam, it will make you lazy to memorize the lesson for tomorrow exam. It will become a habit. Eventhough i know that my GPA isn't as high as my friends which cheating when the exam, but i believe i've done the best. If i cheating, my happiness is different, it's less than when i get higher GPA with my own ability. So, i won't cheating. Because i know, the number one isn't GPA. The number one is your happiness, your feeling when you get the result as same as what you hope with your own work. The measure of yourself.
MY PROMISE :
* I HAVE TO ALWAYS INCREASE MY GPA FROM NOW UNTIL I GRADUATE
* I HAVE TO BE A BETTER PERSON!!
* I HAVE TO BE MORE DILIGENT !
* DON'T BE FOOLISH!
* DON'T BE SENSITIVE PERSON!
* BE A NICE GIRL BEIB,, I LOVE U ! ALL TIME ,,
well, next week, on Tuesday, i want to do some test . TOEFL TEST!! . i hope i can prepare my self with all of my ability . JUST DO IT WITH ALL MY BEST . DO THE BEST !!
I'M SURE I CAN DO IT, I HOPE MY SCORE IS MORE THAN 500 . AMIIIINNNN ....
CHAYOOOOO!!!
YA ALLAH, PLEASE HELP ME TO PREPARE MY SELF AND DO MY BEST IN ONE WEEK . AMIN,,
I LOVE U, ALLAH..
ESTI SAYAANG BANGET SAMA ALLAH ..
I WANT TO GET CLOSER TO ALLAH ,, ,, HELP ME,,
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