I FEEL ........

yesterday, i should have joined mapan (Malam Panjang= Long Night?!?), it's just like some of ospek for our junior undergraduated student.
when i was ready to go to the Kiara Payung (it's in Jatinagnor, it's the place where we'll take the camp), my mother suddenly said to me, that she didn't allow me to join mapan. because, the weather would be so cold.

Actually, ya! it was rain when my mother said she didn't allow me  to join mapan, and it will be more cold in the night. Moreover, i dont't know why, but Bandung city (my city where i live) has become so cold this month than usual. Furthermore, my endurance was week yesterday (and now too).

In one second, i feel happy that i don't have to join mapan, of course my body would't be pale, sick, chill, tired, or anything else. But, in the other side, i felt there is something wrong, is should have being there, with my friends, and my juniors. i should have teached them how to being a better and dicipline student.

But may be it's imposible. Since one day before yesterday, my mother said to me that my father didn't allow me to go to Kiara Payung. And i know, whatever the reasons, my father won't allow me to Kiara Payung in this season. Sometimes, if i force my mother, my mother will let me do what i want, and persuade my father to let me do what i want. But yesterday in the afternoon, my mother still didn't change her opinion.
So, i let her called my team leader and said that i can't go to KiaraPayung. And my team leader said: "Yes , mam. That's allright."
me: -_- (in my mind: ya sure! he won't neglect it. because if i being him, i won't neglect the parent of my friends.)